ALL ABOUT BEER...

Adam writes:

So Jim, here's the thing: I recently graduated from kollege, where I became quite the fan of malted barley alcoholic beverages. I've consumed copious amounts of beer, from the very lightest (Bud Light) to the very heaviest and darkest of beers (Budweiser). Are there any types of beer that exist beyond my vast horizon of taste?

Also Jim, please feel free to post any salty old rant you can think of regarding my tendency to "binge drink" large amounts of "shit beer."


Adam, I admire your daring and intuitive approach to beer, finding the vast variety all the way from Bud to Bud Light! However, you will be pleased to know that is just the beginning of the spectrum.

Beer is made of 4 main ingredients, malted barley, hops, yeast, and water. By changing these ingredients, you change your beer.

YEAST... There are two different types of yeast, lager yeast and ale yeast. All the big American beer manufacturers use lager yeast, a bottom fermenting yeast, which is cold fermented (33-35 degrees usually). As a matter of fact the cold fermentation process is called lagering. Ale yeast is a top fermenting yeast and the fermentation process is at a warmer 45 degrees or more. Thus by changing the yeast, you will create the first two divisions of beer, lager and ale.

MALTED BARLEY... We will refer to it as just plain malt. The main way to alter this ingredient is the amount of time it is roasted. Mainstream American beer, (Pilsner in style) has very little roasting of the grain hence it's light color and flavor. As you roast the grain longer, it becomes darker and more flavorful. Darker lagers would include Bock and even darker Dopplebock. Ale yeast is not conducive to the ultra light drink of a Pilsner. The light end of the Ale spectrum is the Pale Ale, which is often amber of color. Darker ales include Brown Ale, Porter, and the very dark Stout.

HOPS... Hops is a flower, similar to a tea. It is infused into the beer to impart a distinctive bitter flavor. There are different varieties of hops, but the main variation of hops is how much and how long it is steeped in the beer. Usually a well balanced beer will have more hop flavor as the malt becomes more roasted. One exception to this is India Pale Ale. India Pale Ale is a Pale Ale with a high hops content. This was introduced when the British had colonies. Hops act as a preservative, so the Pale Ale sent overseas (much to India) had a lot of hops in it. If your not sure what hops taste like, a good way to find out is to get a Pale Ale (Bass is a good choice) and taste it next to an India Pale Ale. The difference in taste is the hops.

WATER.. Easy enough. If you want to make a Lite beer, Low calorie beer, or Low carb beer, you add more water then charge more money. Good gig, if you can get it.

As for a rant, your generation's need to "binge drink" large amounts of "shit beer" as you so eloquently put it, is not technically drinking beer. You see, it's like the touchback and the safety, it is a matter of impetus. Binge drinking, be it shots, beer bongs, or beer pong, has no impetus to taste and enjoy your beverage of choice. The impetus is wholly a method of ingesting large amounts of alcohol before one passes out, pukes, or dies of alcohol poisoning. It is not truly drinking, it is only an alternative to a syringe or suppository for getting alcohol into the bloodstream.